leopard seals are basically big vicious water cats
i’m sorry what
Great moments in tv history
Even better: Nobody in the room is wearing a shirt with red denim sleeves.
i think my brain just exploded
science side of tumblr, please explain
Air on bottom go woosh. Air on top go woosh. Air on front go woosh. Little plane stay still.
Thanks science side of tumblr
my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this
look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit
if there was a post to describe australia, this is it
you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird?
that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up?
fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you?
wake up australia
That’s what birds do
They fly around and fuck shit up
Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country
Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit
It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel.
Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do
yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes
why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it’s fucking brutal.
My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us.
no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange
what the actual fuck australia
Me two seconds into the previews.
- Recite a poem.
- Read the first page to one of your favorite books.
- Read the little blurb on the back of your shampoo bottle.
- Do a tongue-twister.
- Say something in a different language.
- Share an anecdote.
Do the rains in Spain stay mainly on the plains?
- Summarize the last film/TV episode you watched.
- Let us hear your ringtone and text message sound.
- Tell a joke.
- What did you have to eat today?
- Talk about something that really scares you.
- Talk about something that makes you happy.
- What is your favorite word?
- What is your least favorite word?
- What turns you on?
- What turns you off?
- What sound or noise do you love?
- What sound or noise do you hate?
- What is your favorite curse word?
- What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
- What profession would you not like to do?
- If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
- If you’re brave enough, singing us a little song.
Obama is so lucky. [billnye]